Teenage Jokes

Teenage Jokes

Teenage Joke 21

What is the similarity between doing sex & doing surgery?
Skill is more important than the instrument…

Teenage Joke 22

Man teases his ex-wife’s new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.

Teenage Joke 23

Define contraceptive pill?
It’s the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid Pregnancy.

Teenage Joke 24

On a NUDE beach a man shakes hand with a lady & says: Pleased to meet U!
Lady: Yeah, I can SEE that.

Teenage Joke 25

A cock said women are not problem with them; problem with them is if you can run and get women

Teenage Joke 26

Wife was sure that her husband was having Sex with the maid so she laid a trap.

One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for weekend & didn’t tell husband.

That night when they went to bed,the husband gave old story – Excuse me my dear,
my stomach is aching & went to bathroom.

The wife promptly went into maid’s room, switched the lights off and
laid on the bed.

He came in silently, he wasted no time on words and quickly started Sex..

When he finished, Wife said – U didn’t expect me in this bed, did u..?
& switched the lights on !!

No Madam!!!

Said the Watchman.

MORAL: Sometimes getting too smart can get you screwed

Teenage Joke 27

Logical Vs Legal

After having failed his exam,a Student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor: “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student: “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you Can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If You however do not know the answer, I want you give me an “A” for the Exam.”

Professor: “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and Neither logical, nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give The student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the Same question.

He immediately answers: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 Year old woman, which is legal, but not logical.

Your wife has a 25 Year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you Have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have Failed, is neither legal, nor logical.”

Teenage Joke 28

One day two men were walking in a dense forest. Suddenly they saw a tiger in the distant. They got frightened and decided to run. One man took out a pair of running shoes from his bag and started putting them on.

“Do you think that you can run faster than the tiger with those?” the other man asked surprisingly.

“I don’t want to run faster than the tiger. I just want to run faster than you” was the reply he got.

Teenage Joke 29

New Years Resolutions for Pets

1. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
2. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
3. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
4. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.
5. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.
6. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
7. Hamster: Don’t let them figure out I’m just a rat on ‘roids, or they’ll flush my ass.
8. Always scoot before licking.
9. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
10. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
11. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd – December 31: Re-live victory over the sock. AND the Number 1 New Year’s Resolutions Made by Pets…
12. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.

Teenage Joke 30

Quit smoking

A friend asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, “I think you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking”.

The man says, “I am in the process of quitting”. Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.

What’s phase one? I’ve quit buying.

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