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Funny New Year Resolutions

Funny New Year Resolutions

In this article, we will provide you with some funny humorous New Year’s resolutions.

New Year is the time when people make resolutions and try to stick to them for the rest of the year. However, a lot of people find it difficult to maintain the resolutions and break them half way, or even before. This funny practice has given birth to a lot of humorous New Year resolutions. This article lists some of these funny New Year resolutions. You can be a little more innovative and pick up funny instances from your life, to make your own comical resolutions for the forthcoming year as well. For others, the list given below is the best bet.

Funny Resolutions For New Year:

  • Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
  • Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
  • Don’t eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
  • Learn what the hell “resolution” means.
  • Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
  • I will always “check for paper” when leaving the restroom.
  • I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
  • I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.
  • I will no longer waste my time relieving the past and instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
  • I will not bore my boss with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
  • I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
  • I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
  • Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.
  • I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly!
  • I will try to figure out why I really need nine e-mail addresses.
  • I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
  • I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.
  • I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.
  • I will read the manual… just as soon as I can find it.
  • I will think of a password other than “password”.
  • I will not tell the same story at every get together.
  • Read fewer books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head.
  • Watch more TV. It’s very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.
  • Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
  • I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
  • I will not wet the bed and blame it on my younger brother / sister.

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