Medical Slang Acronyms

Alphabetical Listing of Medical Slang Acronyms

  • HMF — Hysterical Mother Figure
  • HOP — House of Pain (nursing Home)
  • HOPEFUL — Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life (i.e. OAPs Are Not Priority For Most Hospitals)
  • HSPL — High Serum Porcelain Level – Patient Is A Crock of Sh*t
  • HST — High Slug Titre – Lazy Patient (slug) That Won’t Get Out of Bed
  • HTD — Higher Than A Duck
  • HTK — Higher Than A Kite
  • HVLT — High Velocity Lead Poisoning: Gunshot Wound
  • IFOI — I Fell On It – (also Eiffel Syndrome) Universal Explanation Given By A Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum
  • IHC — Improving His Claim – Victim of Minor Accident, Needs No Treatment But Wants Something To Support His Insurance/legal Claim.
  • IOTC — Icing On The Cake – Lethal Tumor Discovered In The X-rays of A Heart Attack Victim.
  • IP — Insurance Pain – Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump
  • ISQ — “In Status Quo (“”no Change””): Often Used During The Weekend Surgical Round”
  • ITBNTL — In The Box, Nail The Lid (dead Or Dying)
  • IW — Insurance Whiplash – Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump
  • IWB — Intercourse With Biscuits (F**king Crackers)
  • JAFFA — Just Another Fat, F***ing Assh*le
  • JAR — JAR Syndrome: Just Ain’t Right (often Used When A Patient Has Multiple Issues)
  • JDFR — Just Doesn’t Feel Right – Most Common Complaint of LOL’s (Little Old Ladies) And SOG’s (Sick Old Guys)
  • JDLR — Just Doesn’t Look Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet)
  • JIC — Jesus Is Calling
  • JLD — Just Like Dad (often Used To Explain An FLK)
  • JNR — Just Not Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet)
  • JPFROG — Just Plain F***ing Ran Out of Gas (old Age, Etc)
  • JPS — Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack of Common Sense)
  • KAGC — Knife And Gun Club – (US) Local Street Gangs Or Criminal Organizations That Keep ER In Business OR The Emergency Departments That Care For Patients With The Results of Street Gang Violence
  • KFO — Knock The F*cker Out (patient Either Obnoxious Or Screaming In Pain)
  • KOKO — Keep On Keeping On.
  • KSS — Kidney Stone Squirm – A Spot Diagnosis In A&E
  • LDF — Lying Down Fit
  • LFTWM — Looking For 3 Wise Men (applied To Young Pregnant Females Who Deny Having Had Intercourse)
  • LGFD — Looks Good From Door (but Not Closely Examined)
  • LGFTC — Looks Good From The Corridor (but Not Closely Examined)
  • LMC — Low Marble Count (low IQ)
  • LOBNH — Lights On But Nobody Home
  • LOFD — Looks Okay From Door
  • LOL — Little Old Lady
  • LOLFDGB — Little Old Lady, Fall Down, Go Boom
  • LOLINAD — Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress
  • LOLITS — (US) Little Old Lady In Tennis Shoes (60+ Years-old); (UK) Little Old Lady In Twin-Set (50-60+ Years-old)
  • LPT — Low Pain Threshold
  • LRO — Luck Ran Out (cheated Death Before, But Not This Time)
  • LT — Lantern Test – Shine A Torch In The Subject’s Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain)
  • LWS — (US) Low Wallet Syndrome (No Medical Insurance Or Money)
  • MAFAT — Mandatory Anasthaesia F**k Around Time, Precedes Any Incision
  • MARPS — Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals
  • MCBP — Member of The College of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see
  • MFB — Measure For Box (coffin)
  • MFC — Measure For Coffin
  • MFD — Measure For Dispatch (coffin), (severely Ill Or Dying)
  • MGM — MGM Syndrome (as In The Movie Maker) – Faker Putting On A Real Good Show
  • MICO — Masterly Inactivity And Catlike Observation
  • MICOS — Masterly Inactivity, Cat-like Observation And Steroids
  • MIDI — Myocardial Infarction During Intercourse (heart Attack During Sex)
  • MILF — Mother I’d Like To F**k. US Version of GLM Who Is Also PHAT
  • MTF — Metabolize To Freedom (i.e. Let The Person Sober Up, And Then They Can Leave)
  • MU PAIN — Made Up Pain (especially For Sick Notes And Insurance Claims)
  • MUH — Messed Up Heart
  • NAD — Not Actually Done
  • NARS — Not A Rocket Scientist (low IQ)
  • NETMA — Nobody Ever Tells Me Anything (generally A Doctor’s Gripe On A Patient’s Chart)
  • NFR — Not For Resuscitation; Used On Elderly Patients’ Charts Where The DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Instruction Is Without The Knowledge of The Patient Themselves Or Their Family
  • NFS — Neuro-faecal Syndrome – Sh*t For Brains
  • NGMI — Not Going To Make It
  • NKDA — Not Known, Didn’t Ask
  • NLPR — No Longer Playing Records (dying)
  • NPS — New Parent Syndrome
  • NQR — Not Quite Right
  • NQRITH — Not Quite Right In The Head
  • NSA — Non-Standard Appearance (what A FLK Grows Into)
  • NWB — Negative Wallet Biopsy – (US) Patient Transferred To Cheaper Hospital Because They Have No Insurance / Funds
  • OAP — Over-Anxious Patient
  • OBE — Open Both Ends (known In UK As DNV – Diarrhoea And Vomiting)
  • OBS — Obvious Bullsh*t
  • OFIG — One Foot In The Grave
  • OFIGATOOS — One Foot In The Grave And The Other One Slipping
  • OMGWTFBBQ — Oh My God, What The F*ck, Bar-be-que; A Person Mangled In A Car Crash
  • OPD — Obnoxious Personality Disorder
  • OTD&DDR — Out The Door And Down The Road.
  • OTDPDS — Out The Door Pretty Damn Soon
  • OTLP — On The Launch Pad (to Be Discharged To Home)
  • P4P — Penicillin For Prick (peniecille For Penile Discharge)
  • PAAF — Pissed As A Fart (also PIAF -PIssed As A Fart)
  • PAFO — Pissed [Drunk] And Fell Over
  • PBAB — Pine Box At Bedside
  • PBABLTO — Pine Box At Bedside, Leave Top Off
  • PBLS — Positive Blue Legs Sign – (US) Resuscitation Behind Closed Curtains (US ER Medics Wear Blue Scrubs)
  • PBOO — Pine Box On Order
  • PBS — Pretty Bad Shape
  • PBTB — Pine Box To Bedside; Indicates An Imminent Demise
  • PCUINIA — Please Consult Us If New (Surgical) Issues Arise – I.e. Please Never Page Me Again
  • PDSD — Pre-Detention Stress Disorder – A Person Who Feigns Medical Symptoms When Police Handcuff Him
  • PEFYC — Pre Extricated For Your Convenience (RTA Victim That Has Gone Through Windscreen)
  • PEP — Pharmaceutically Enhanced Personality – Stoned Or Medicated
  • PFH — Parent(s) From Hell (custodians of BFH – Brat From Hell)
  • PFO — Pissed (Drunk) And Fell Over
  • PGT — Pissed (Drunk) And Got Thumped
  • PHAT — Pretty Hot And Tempting (warning To Others)
  • PHS — Positive Hilton Sign – Demanding Patient Expects Hilton Hotel Luxury; Indicates Patient Well Enough To Leave!
  • PIA — Pain In The Ass

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