Bob’s eldest daughter Jessie was quietly watching her favorite TV program. She looked up, scrunched up her face, shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the TV.
Ester, her baby sister, who had been sitting next to her looking like she wanted to get into some mischief, was now heading towards her father’s cell phone that was lying on the low coffee table next to his chair.
She was at the age where everything in her path was fair game. She had developed the skill of banishing any item small enough for her to grasp to the nearest black hole.
She managed to get the cell phone down onto the floor but her little hands couldn’t get a grip on it. Her next trick was to see if it fitted into her mouth.
Remotely Thanksgiving: Funny Short Story
Bob managed to rescue his cell phone before it was covered in baby slobber. He placed it on top of the tall cabinet beside his chair out of Esters reach. It was something he did without consciously realizing it; He had in fact spent most of his day putting things up out of her way.
Over the other side of the room curled up in her basket, Buttons the family pet lazily lifted both of her little ears and half opened one eye to see what the commotion was about. Apparently it was nothing that concerned her so she returned to her previous task of resting, it had been a busy day for her.
Right at that moment the door opened and Jenny walked in. Jessie excited to see her mother jumped up and ran over to her giving her a big welcome home hug.
Baby Ester, deprived of her prize sat down, her short attention span now gone from the cell phone and focused and the door opening. At the sight of her mother at the door she squealed with delight.
“I swear Jenny” Bob said. “Ester is going to be the death of me; I never realized how much work she is”. The household was always a shambles when she was away, and today was no exception. It was Thanks Giving Tomorrow and they were expecting friends around for dinner.
“How was your trip sweetheart” Bob asked. Almost tripping over Buttons who had rushed up to greet her master. She yapped loudly several times and jumped up wagging her tail wanting instant attention as all little house dogs do.
“Oh, it was OK, I guess Glad I don’t do it very often.”
“Looks like you handled thing OK here, no major disasters?”
“Oh hello Buttons darling” Jenny bent down to give her excited pet the attention she desired.
“Well don’t we look pretty, all nice and clean. Oh wow! Look at those toe nails, all neatly clipped. My, my aren’t you the good looking one.”
“Not that it will last long” Bob said. “Angie brought her home about five minutes ago you’ve just missed her.”
“Oh that’s a shame.” Jenny picked up baby Ester, giving her a big smooch and a hug as she headed towards the bedroom. She wanted a shower to freshen up after her long trip home.
Bob could see Jenny was tired and probably just wanting to relax, he knew the missing remote wouldn’t be of any interest to her at all, but he couldn’t resist the impulse to tell her of the problem.
“What you asked me before, about no major disasters. Well there is the matter of the missing TV remote.”
Jenny rolled her eyes, “Well I guess if that’s the only problem you have my dear, then everything is well under control.”
Bob picked up his wife’s bag and carried it to the bedroom. The missing remote was still on his mind so he mentioned it again. Jenny put baby Ester on the bed, tickling her tummy. She looked up and smiled, kissing her husband on the cheek and said. “Sorry baby I haven’t been here for two days I’m sure I have no idea where it is.”
Jenny walked into the bathroom; a shower was the only thing on her mind at the moment. Taking Ester off the bed Bob stopped for a second. He dropped to his knees and still clutching Ester looked under the bed for the hundredth time, then at Ester and grunted.
Ester giggled and squealed, she thought this was a neat game.
Bob walked into the kitchen and checked the dinner in the oven; it was almost ready so he decided to leave any further investigation until after dinner.
At that moment Bob heard the TV being changed through the channels,thinking he had found the culprit he rushed into the family room. Jessy was by the TV flipping through the channels using the TV channel button. She looked up as he flew into the room. He stopped short when he saw what was happening and recovered quickly enough to prevent himself from looking like an idiot.
“Dinners ready, Jessy could you bring Ester in with you please.”
Jessy smiled, she knew what he had thought. “Yes Dad.” “Come on Ester lets go see what Daddy has cooked us for dinner. Hope its as good as last nights was.”
Buttons got up from her basket and walked into the kitchen with Jenny and Ester. She scratched at the back door to be let out. Bob opened it for her and watched as she ran around the yard.
“you should get one of those Doggy Doors fitted dad, so she can come and go outside whenever she wants.”Jessy suggested.
“Good idea Jessy.”Bob agreed.
With dinner over it was time for Bob to renew his quest.
“OK now” he said looking straight at Jessie. “You’ve seen your favorite program uninterrupted, just like you said you wanted to. Where is it Missy?”
“Daddy” Jessie replied indignantly. “I really, really don’t know Why is always me that gets blamed? Maybe you did something with it and you have just forgotten. You have been busy chasing Ester around all day, haven’t you?”
With that Bob sat down in his chair to do an analysis of the mystery; Jessie had made a good point.
As Jenny had pointed out to him, she had been away for two days. It was obvious she couldn’t be counted as a suspect.
Jessie would have owned up to it by now. Or, if she had hidden it, so she could watch her favorite program without him channel surfing during the ads, it would have reappeared by now. Besides, she would have used it when she was flipping through the channels before dinner.
Buttons, well Bob thought, she was with Angie at the groomers most of the day and had only been delivered home for five minutes before Jenny got home.
He looked suspiciously at Ester. The remote control was much too heavy and awkward for her to do anything other than suck and slobber over it, very little chance of her banishing it to the black hole.
Well, I guess that just leaves one other person Bob thought.
Just at that moment a cell phone rang above his head. Bob reached over to get his cell phone. He had to stretch his arm out to its full length to reach it from the top of the cabinet where he had put it out of Esters reach.
Bob was momentarily confused when the channel changed on the TV as he pressed the call button on his cell phone. The very second he put the TV remote control to his ear he remembered his comment to Jenny about spending half his day putting thing up out of Ester’s reach.
He was sitting there in his chair with the remote control pressed to his ear looking slightly embarrassed when Jenny walked into the family room. The words “If that’s Angie ask her.” Was all she managed to say.
Jenny stood at the entrance to the family room, cocked her head to one side and smiling said “I guess that’s that little mystery solve, eh!”