[381]

Once there was an madman who was committed to an asylum.
The asylum had a rule that if any 'resident' could pass a special 5-question test, he could go free. No resident had passed in the 20-year history of the asylum.
It was the madman's turn to take the test.
After a grueling 4 hours of testing, the examining officer said, "Well, you've passed four of the five tests. I'm very impressed. However, the last test is the hardest of all."
The examiner lead the man to a dark room, switched on a flashlight, and pointed it at a light bulb hanging from the ceiling. "For your fifth test, you must walk on the beam of light and change the bulb."
The man looked at him with an outraged expression and exclaimed, Are you NUTS?!?"
He continued, "Yeah right, when I reach half-way you'll turn it off and let me fall!"

Bijesh Pillai

[382]

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room.

He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient #1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"

The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb."

The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red. The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself".

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

Bijesh Pillai

[383]

For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is 80,000 and so there's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Johnny told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no means of transportation.

Bijesh Pillai

[384]

For a test of his own fortitude the magician brought the biggest, strongest-looking man up on stage to assist him. He handed the man a rubber mallet and told him, "When I put my head down on this block, hit me as hard as you can. Don't worry, it won't effect me at all." The man says, "Okay."

The magician put his head down and said, "Go ahead."

Ten years later, the magician woke up in a hospital from a coma and yelled, "Ta-Da!"

Bijesh Pillai

[385]

One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to run some errands.

The proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of doing, but the baby wouldn't stop crying.

Finally, the dad got so worried that he decided to take the infant to the doctor.

After the doctor listened to the father relate all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area.

When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full."Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs to be changed!"The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!"

Amit Pahuja

[386]

This is an advertisement found in Vancouver during their National Non-Smoking Week. The car was placed at the Vancouver Art Gallery and the message. It reads, "Death from car accidents: 370. Death from smoking-related causes: 6,027. Quit now before it kills you."

[387]

Santa Singh was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column Salary Expected: He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote: YES.

[388]

Sidharth Chaudhary :: sidharth@TechMahindra.com

[389]

[390]

A tattoo is a permanent marking made by inserting ink into the layers of skin to change the pigment for decorative or other reasons. Tattoos on humans are a type of decorative body modification, while tattoos on animals are most commonly used for identification or branding.

Tattooing has been practiced worldwide. The Ainu, the indigenous people of Japan, traditionally wore facial tattoos. Today one can find Berbers of Tamazgha and Maori of New Zealand with facial tattoos. Tattooing was widespread among Polynesian peoples and among certain tribal groups in the Philippines, Borneo, Mentawai Islands, Africa, North America, South America, Mesoamerica, Europe, Japan, Cambodia, New Zealand and Micronesia. Despite some taboos surrounding tattooing, the art continues to be popular in many parts of the world.

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