[351]

Teacher to Student: A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example.
Student: I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your Daughter.

Sanjeev Kumar

[352]

Debajit Saikia

[353]

Life goes on...



Amarjeet Malik

[354]

Peeyush Bhatnagar

[355]

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way." I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?

Peeyush Bhatnagar :: peeyush@summitindia.com

[356]

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
One Student: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime.

Piyush Bhatnagar

[357]

George Bush was jogging along the beach when he came upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it around, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared! George was amazed and startled, and asked the genie if he got three wishes? "No" said the genie "I'm afraid that due to  constant down sizing, world stock market volatility, fierce global competition, deflation and low wages in asian countries, I can only grant you but one wish sir. So please, what will it be?..." George didn't hesitate. He said, "There is something near and dear to my heart; I would like to see peace in the Middle East. Here, see this map? I want all these countries to stop fighting and make peace among them."  

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, man! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. The hatred among them runs deep. any have tried and failed at what you ask. I'm good but not THAT good. I just don't think it can be done. Please, could you make another wish?"

George thought for a minute, and then said, "Well you know, people just don't like my wife Barbara. They think she's bad tempered, has a big butt, and pushes me around too much. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and have everybody really like her. OK, that's what I want."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "George, let me see that map again!...

Bijesh Pillai

[358]

Shocked! It's me - Popeye



Amarjeet Malik

[359]

After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibbers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."

One week later, the Indian press reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 800m, Indian scientists have found  absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones and used wireless communications.

Debajit Saikia

[360]

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were thousands of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day. When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, "We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one-second each time a lie is told."

Special attention was given to two clocks. The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life.

Hillary asked, "Where is Bills' clock?"

St.Peter replied, "Jesus has it in His office... He's using it as a ceiling fan.

Debajit Saikia

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