[21]

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem.I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, an we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying...that phrase...in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:

"Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!

Bijesh Pillai

[22]

In days of old, when knights were bold, this particular knight was leaving for the crusades and called one of his squires. "I'm leaving for the crusades. I'm entrusting you with the key to my wife's chastity belt. If, in 10 years, I haven't returned, you may use the key."

The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe, and takes one last look at his castle. He sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, "Stop! Stop! Sire. Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the wrong key.

Bijesh Pillai

[23]

An elderly gentleman was telling his friend about his new hearing aid. He said, "This hearing aid is so good that I can hear a pin drop to the floor 60 feet away."
The friend said, "What kind is it?'
The old man looked at his watch and said, "It's two thirty.

Bijesh Pillai

[24]

When Santa & his wife filed an application for divorce, the Judge asked: "How will you divide, you have 3 children?"
Santa: "Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR."

Sandeep :: s_s_sangwan@yahoo.com

[25]

Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly.
Banta asks why he does this.
Santa: "I've been promoted as branch manager."

Sandeep :: s_s_sangwan@yahoo.com

[26]

Santa with his 18 friends went to watch a film.
On being questioned about the big group,
they replied that the film was only for above 18...

Sandeep :: s_s_sangwan@yahoo.com

[27]

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study.

The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to two separate classrooms to take the exam. Each boy just shrugged and went to two different parts of the building.

As each sat down, they read the first question.

"For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom."

At this point, they both thought that this was going to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with ease. Then, the test continued.

"For 95 points, tell me which tire it was.

Bijesh Pillai

[28]

Santa & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Santa says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Santa says hot coffee Rs.5 and cold coffee Rs.10.

Sandeep :: s_s_sangwan@yahoo.com

[29]

Question: What is the height of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana.
Question : How ???
Answer : An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian driver, who was high on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines, dies!

Peeyush Bhatnagar

[30]

Little Jimmy was lying on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God. "God? Are you really there?" Jimmy said out loud. To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds.

"Yes, Jimmy? What can I do for you?"

Seizing the opportunity, Jimmy asked, "God? What is a million years like to you?"

Knowing that Jimmy could not understand the concept of infinity, God responded in a manner to which Jimmy could relate, "A million years to me, Jimmy, is like a minute."

"Oh," said Jimmy. "Well, then, what's a million dollars like to you?"

"A million dollars to me, Jimmy, is like a penny."

"Wow!" remarked Jimmy, getting an idea. "You're so generous, can I have one of your pennies?"

God replied, "Sure thing, Jimmy! Just a minute.

Bijesh Pillai

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Total 'Teens Jokes' available now: 127

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