Indian Jokes
Here is a collection of indian jokes to refresh your mind and lighten your mood.
This is a real incident that happened...
A 50-something year old white woman arrived at her seat and saw that the passenger next to her was a black man.
Visibly furious, she called the air hostess.
"What's the problem, ma?" the hostess asked her
"Can't you see?" the lady said - "I was given a seat next to a black man. I can't seat here next to him. You have to change my seat"
- "Please, calm down, ma" - said the hostess "Unfortunately, all the seats are occupied, but I'm still going to check if we have any."
The hostess left and returned some minutes later.
"Madam, as I told you, there isn't any empty seat in this class- economy class. But I spoke to the captain and he confirmed that there isn't any empty seats in the economy class. We only have seats in the first class."
And before the woman said anything, the hostess continued
"Look, it is unusual for our company to allow a passenger from the economy class change to the first class. However, given the circumstances, the commandant thinks that it would be a scandal to make a passenger travel sat next to an unpleasant person."
And turning to the black man, the hostess said:
"Which means, Sir, if you would be so nice to pack your handbag, we have reserved you a seat in the first class..."
And all the passengers nearby, who were shocked to see the scene started applauding, some standing on their feet."
Lena Malik
Tags: Black Man, Air hostess
Boss: Where were you born?
Santa: India...
Boss: which part?
Santa: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India.
sontu
Tags: Where were you born, India, Whole body
Aishwarya's Baby
When Aishwarya delivered a baby girl,
The doctor welcomed the baby,
"You will be amazed to know which family you are born in.
Do you know who your Grandfather is?"
The baby replied, "Yes, the greatest actor of Bollywood."
The Doctor was shocked.
then he asked, "Do you know who your Mother is?"
The baby replied, "One of the most beautiful ladies in the world. Miss World."
the doctor then asked, "Do you know who your Father is?"
The baby replied,
*
*
"NO IDEA"
Get IDEA.
Harman Malik
Tags: Aishwarya Rai, Greatest actor of Bollywood, Most beautiful ladies in the world, Miss World, Get IDEA
Bhojpuri title of famous films:
TITANIC: Nauka Deyla Dhoka
ANACONDA: Aadmi Khaye wala saapwa
THREE IDIOTS: Teen Burbak
GHAJINI: Takle Ka Badla
Harman Malik
Tags: TITANIC, ANACONDA, THREE IDIOTS, GHAJINI
संता सिंह के अठारह बच्चे...
इंटरव्यू के दौरान संता सिंह से सवाल किया गया, "कितने बच्चे हैं तुम्हारे...?"
जवाब मिला, "जी, अठारह..."
इंटरव्यू लेने वाला हैरान होकर बोला, "इतने सारे बच्चे...?"
संता ने कहा, "हां, मैं अपना वादा कभी नहीं तोड़ता..."
इंटरव्यू लेने वाला फिर हैरान, बोला, "क्या मतलब..."
संता ने तपाक से जवाब दिया, "हां, मैंने शादी के वक्त अपने ससुर से वादा किया था कि उनकी बेटी को कभी खाली पेट नहीं रखूंगा..."
Amarjeet
Tags: Santa Singh, Banta Singh, How many Kids
Girl Friend: Jina sirf tere liye
Boy Friend: Main lift se upar jaunga
Anant
Tags: Girl Friend, Boy Friend, Lift
Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par please mujhe marna nahin.
Santa: Bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hoon!
Santa: It's a good News.
Jeeto: Shadi se pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.
datta
Tags: Santa Jokes, Jeeto Jokes, Pregnant, Good News
Kamla, housewife, is serving dinner to her husband Murali. Kamla's father & mother are visiting their home and, naturally, Kamla is giving the best kind of treatment, hospitality to them.
Husband Murali : "Hey Kamla, you're paying high attention, care and hospitality to your own side of relations, but not giving same treatment to my father and mother during their visit at our home? Why is it so? Why the partiality?"
Wife Kamla: " What's it you are talking? I don't understand. Do you think your father-in-law and mother-in-law are not related to you?
[Murali forced to keep his mouth shut!]
Mandakol Manian
Tags: Kamla, Murli, Father-in-law, Mother-in-law, hospitality
Do you remember Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, the Indian Army commando officer who sacrificed his life to save Mumbai from the terrorist attacks? His bravery will remain unsurpassed.
The Kerala Govt., headed by Shri V S Achuthanandan awarded Rs. 3 lakhs to the family of Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan.
The same govt, headed by the same Chief Minister, donated Rs.5 lakhs to the victims of the recent Malappuram Liquor tragedy.
Priorities of the Indian Political Class are so clear... sends great messages to our youth... It's foolish to join the army and dying fighting for your country; consume illicit liquor and die... It's more profitable and more honorable in the eyes and minds of such CM's.
Virender
Tags: Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, Indian Army commando officer, Mumbai terrorist attacks, Malappuram Liquor tragedy, Indian Political Class, Shri V S Achuthanandan, Consume illicit liquor and die
Do U know about "what is an audit"?
Once upon a time there was a man looking after his flock of animals on the side of a deserted road.
Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd,
'If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?'
The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, 'Okay.'
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables.
He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says,
'You have exactly 1,586 sheep.'
The shepherd cheers, 'That's correct, you can have your sheep.'
The young man takes one of the animals from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche.
The shepherd looks at him and asks, 'If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?'
The young man answers, 'Yes, why not?'
The shepherd says, 'You are an Auditor.'
'How did you know?' asks the young man.
'Very simple,' answers the Shepherd.*
Firstly, you came here without being wanted.
Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.
Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business....'*
'.....*Now can I have my **dog** back*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Vikram Kulkarni
Tags: Audit Jokes, Jokes On Audit, Armani Suit, Gucci Shoes, Ray Ban Sunglasses, Tag Heuer, Pierre Cardin Tie, Nasa Website, Auditor
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Total 'Indian Jokes' available now: 125 |
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