A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar. A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes and the Lady said – “Tell me! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor… Do you think the Lord will let you in?”
“My good woman” passionately holding her hand, said the man, “When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind.”
Drinkers are practical people.
Kindly Respect & Support them..
Wife: (calling from the bath room in a very sweet and husky voice)
“Darling, I am in the bath room… have applied soap all over… please come and rub… properly with your strong hands…
.”Husband; ( reading newspaper…. jumps up with all happiness ….and tells his wife)
“Sweetheart… I am coming” (Reaches the bath room… sees his wife standing with a pile of clothes)
Wife: “listen, I have applied soap to the clothes… now rub each of the clothes properly and wash them and hang them for drying… I have enough work in the kitchen.”
Moral: Mutual Fund Investments are subject to market risks, please read scheme related documents carefully, before investing.
A British doctor says: “In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job.”
The German doctor says: “That’s nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job.”
The Russian doctor says: “Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another’s chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job.”
The American doctor laughs: “You are all behind us. A few days ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for a job!”
Husband: What happened.. Here is the huge crowd in front of our Home.
Wife: Nothing dear… I just informed our neighbor that our relative is coming from Mumbai
Husband: Why is this much of crowd for that.. Can you explain clearly what you told her?
Wife: Nothing like that dear.. I am learning Spoken English na , thats why I told her in English
Husband: Then tell me What exactly you told her.
Wife: I told her that ‘Today Sunny Leone is coming to my home from Mumbai’
Husband: Stop your Butler English…. Its not Sunny Leone… Its Son-in-law