Childrens Jokes

Children’s Jokes

Children’s Joke 11

Pawan: What would you like to drink?

Shikha: Ale, please.

Pawan: Pale?

Shikha: Oh, no, a glass is enough!

Children’s Joke 12

Rina: How many children have you got?

Ameena: Two boys and a girl.

Rina: That’s three altogether.

Ameena: No – one at a time!

Children’s Joke 13

A guide was showing an old lady round a zoo.

“Here we have a native of Australia,” he said, taking her to the kangaroo’s cage.

“Goodness,” the old lady replied in shock. “My grand-daughter’s married one of those!”

Children’s Joke 14

Church Minister: Do you say a little prayer before you sit down to eat your meals?

Little Boy: There’s no need for that, my mum’s a great cook!

Children’s Joke 15

Jai: I’ve got such a bad headache.

Nitya: I know why.

Jai: Why?

Nitya: Well, yesterday when I had stomach ache, mummy said it was because it was empty, so I guess that’s the problem with you too!

Children’s Joke 16

A little boy comes down for breakfast and his mother asks if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” says the little boy.

His mother tells him that until he completes them, he won’t be getting any breakfast.

Well, he’s a little angry, so he goes to feed the chickens and kicks one. He goes to feed the cows, and kicks a cow as well. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.

“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.”

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile and says, “Are you going to tell him, or shall I?”

Children’s Joke 17

One day an elephant was injured in a trajic accident. Once the elephant was at the hospital the doctors found out that the elephant was losing a lot of blood.

The news went out of the hospital all the way to a western jungle. A friend of the elephant a bug heard the news and rushed to the hospital.A doctor asked the puny little bug why he was at the hospital.The bug replied that the elephant was his friend and said that he was here to donate blood to the suffering elephant!

Children’s Joke 18

“I’m ashamed of you,” the mother said. “Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!”

“He threw a rock at me!” the boy said. “So I threw one at him.”

The mother stated emphatically, “When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me.”

The boy quickly replied, “What good would that have done? My aim is much better than yours.”

Children’s Joke 19

Weather Forecast

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an Old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.”

The next day it rained.

A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.”

The next day there was a hailstorm.

“This Indian is incredible,” said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn’t show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him. “I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I’m depending on you. What will the weather be like?”

The Indian shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know,” he said. “Radio broken.”

Children’s Joke 20

I was once in a play called “Breakfast in Bed”
Did you have a big role?
No just toast and marmalade!

What runs but never walks?
Water!

Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking!

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