Father’s Day Humor
- Poor Pastor
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.”
“Well, thank you,” the pastor replied, “but why?”
“Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had”, the child quipped.
- The Right Choice
Ryan was out late with friends one night. Suddenly, he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for his dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on the rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and presented it to his father.
Upon opening it, his dad read the message: “You’ve been like a father to me.” He looked at Ryan, puzzled.
“Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!'”
- Payback Time
On the day Mary received her learner’s permit, her father agreed to take her out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat.
“Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” Mary asked.
“Mary, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”
- Mom’s In-charge
One evening, while sitting around the dinner table, a little girl looked up and asked her father, “Daddy, you’re the boss, right?” Her father was very pleased by this and replied, “Yes.” Then, the little girl continued, “That’s because mommy put you in charge, right?”
- Another Glass Of Water
“Daddy, Daddy, can I have another glass of water please?”
“But I’ve given you 10 glasses of water already!”
“Yes, but the bedroom is still on fire!”
- The Toy
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.
“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”
Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, dad, you get the toy.”
- New Dad
One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn’t stop crying. Finally, he got so worried that he decided to take the infant to the doctor.After the doctor listened to all the father had done to get the baby to stop crying, he began examining the baby’s ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he opened the diaper, it was indeed full.
“Here’s the problem,” the doctor explained. “He just needs to be changed.”The perplexed father remarked, “But the diaper package specifically says, it’s good for up to 10 pounds!”