- Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den... He is supposed to count upto 100... and then start searching... Everyone starts hiding except Newton... Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting 1,2,3...... 97, 98, 99..... 100... ..... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front... Einstein says "newton's out..newton's out..." Newton denies and says "I am not out.. I am not Newton..." All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton. Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared.... since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......! [KIDS JOKES]
- Diffrence b/w BOY & GIRL How a BOY withdraws cash from an ATM: 1. Park the car 2. Go to ATM Machine 3. Insert card 4. Enter PIN 5. Take money out 6. Take ATM Card out 7. Drive away How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM: 1. Park the car 2. Check makeup 3. Turn off engine 4. Check makeup 5. Go to ATM 6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse 7. Insert card 8. Hit Cancel 9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it 10. Insert card 11. Enter PIN 12. Take cash 13. Go to car 14. Check makeup 15. Start car 16. Stop car 17. Run back to ATM 18. Take ATM card 19. Back to car 20. Check makeup 21. Start car 22. Check makeup 23. Drive for 1/2 mile 24. Release handbrake 25. Drive on. [KIDS JOKES]
- Jai: I've got such a bad headache. Nitya: I know why. Jai: Why? Nitya: Well, yesterday when I had stomach ache, mummy said it was because it was empty, so I guess that's the problem with you too! [KIDS JOKES]
- A little boy comes down for breakfast and his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," says the little boy. His mother tells him that until he completes them, he won't be getting any breakfast. Well, he's a little angry, so he goes to feed the chickens and kicks one. He goes to feed the cows, and kicks a cow as well. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile and says, "Are you going to tell him, or shall I?" [KIDS JOKES]
- 142857 is a cyclic number - its digits always appear in the same order but will rotate around when multiplied by any number from 1 to 6: 142857 x 1 = 142857 142857 x 2 = 285714 142857 x 3 = 428571 142857 x 4 = 571428 142857 x 5 = 714285 142857 x 6 = 857142 Pretty cool, huh? Now multiply 142857 by 7. [KIDS JOKES]
- One day this man was outside mowing the lawn. He looks across the street to see his blonde neighbor go over to her mailbox, look in, then angrily slam it shut again. This happens about three times, then the man says: "Hey, why do you keep checking your mailbox?" "Well, my freakin computer keeps saying I Got Mail!" [KIDS JOKES]
- Visiting kindergarten Little Tommy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read, "The 10 Most Wanted." One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman, "the detectives want him very badly." So Little Tommy asked, while tugging on the man's belt, "Um, mister, why didn't you keep them when you took their pictures?" [KIDS JOKES]
- I see the baby's nose is running again," said a worried father. "For goodness sake!" snapped his wife. "Can't you think of anything other than horse racing?" [KIDS JOKES]
- Mother: Now, Dhruv, when you go for dinner at Parth's house, use your knife and fork properly. Dhruv: Mummy, is it necessary that I use a knife and fork? Mother: Of course you must! Dhruv: But the soup will never stay on them! [KIDS JOKES]
- Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil ?till I get there [KIDS JOKES]
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[1] |
PAL - Planes Always Late
JAL - Jerk And Land
UL - Usually Late
SQ - Stand in Queqe
PIA - Please Inform Allah
AI - Already Informed
Amudha Sendhilnaathan :: From Bangkok
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[2] |
One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to run some errands.
The proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of doing, but the baby wouldn't stop crying.
Finally, the dad got so worried that he decided to take the infant to the doctor.
After the doctor listened to the father relate all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area.
When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full."Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs to be changed!"The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!"
Amit Pahuja
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[3] |
Once there was an madman who was committed to an asylum.
The asylum had a rule that if any 'resident' could pass a special 5-question test, he could go free. No resident had passed in the 20-year history of the asylum.
It was the madman's turn to take the test.
After a grueling 4 hours of testing, the examining officer said, "Well, you've passed four of the five tests. I'm very impressed. However, the last test is the hardest of all."
The examiner lead the man to a dark room, switched on a flashlight, and pointed it at a light bulb hanging from the ceiling. "For your fifth test, you must walk on the beam of light and change the bulb."
The man looked at him with an outraged expression and exclaimed, Are you NUTS?!?"
He continued, "Yeah right, when I reach half-way you'll turn it off and let me fall!"
Bijesh Pillai
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[4] |
One time I farted so bad that I had to spend ten years in jail for air pollution.
Bijesh Pillai
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[5] |
Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors the guard said, "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?" So to the back fence they all went.
First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Without so much as moving, the New York contractor said, "$2,700."
The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy," he said. "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Texas."
Bijesh Pillai
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[6] |
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something...but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.
A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck....
Bijesh Pillai
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[7] |
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black.
Customer: What other colours do you have?
Piyush Bhatnagar
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[8] |
Pupil: Did you know that the most intelligent person is going deaf?
Teacher: Really. Who is it?
Pupil: Pardon.
Piyush Bhatnagar
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[9] |
Tom: How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.
Piyush Bhatnagar
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[10] |
Patient: What are the chances of my recovering doctor?
Doctor: One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died.
Piyush Bhatnagar
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• Thanksgiving Day Coloringbook
• Thanksgiving Day Festival
• Thanksgiving Day Greetings
• Short Poems for children
• Thanksgiving Sayings
• When is Thanksgiving Day
• Activities, History, Quiz
• First Thanksgiving
• Thanksgiving Feast, Art & Craft Ideas, Gift Ideas
• Blessings
• Calendar, Continental Congress National Thanksgiving Proclamations, Thanksgiving Turkey Presidential Pardon
• 1777 Thanksgiving Proclamation, 1778 Thanksgiving Proclamation, Prayers, Catholic Thanksgiving Prayer, Family Thanksgiving Prayer
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