- Santa - Main tumse Shaadi nahi kar sakta. GF - Kyon! Santa - Mere ghar wale mana kar rahe hain. GF - Kaun hai! Santa - Meri bibi aur baache. [SMS JOKES]
- Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said "April fool". I have pass. [SMS JOKES]
- Santa & Lion How can a Santa kill a Lion? Santa thinks & thinks hard... & comes to a conclusion: "I'll drink Poison.. & let the Lion eat me." [SMS JOKES]
- Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: For you and your parents. [SMS JOKES]
- Drop the Baby Why did you drop the baby? Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did. [SMS JOKES]
- Machchar ne aapko kata wo uska JUNUN tha, aapne khujli ki wo aapka SUKUN tha, chahkar bhi aapne use nahi mara bcoz uski ragon mein bhi aapka hi KHOON tha. [SMS JOKES]
- Banta ke ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha? Kyon? Itne saalo baad, itni manato ke baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...! [SMS JOKES]
- A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? B'coz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever you go out network follows. [SMS JOKES]
- Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den... He is supposed to count upto 100... and then start searching... Everyone starts hiding except Newton... Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting 1,2,3...... 97, 98, 99..... 100... ..... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front... Einstein says "newton's out..newton's out..." Newton denies and says "I am not out.. I am not Newton..." All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton. Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared.... since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......! [KIDS JOKES]
- GREAT TUSI bade hi gr8 ho, RASGULLE ki pl8 ho, PEPSI ka cr8 ho, ANDE ka oml8 ho, SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho, JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho, KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…! [SMS JOKES]
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- Santa - Main tumse Shaadi nahi kar sakta. GF - Kyon! Santa - Mere ghar wale mana kar rahe hain. GF - Kaun hai! Santa - Meri bibi aur baache. [SMS JOKES]
- Santa & Lion How can a Santa kill a Lion? Santa thinks & thinks hard... & comes to a conclusion: "I'll drink Poison.. & let the Lion eat me." [SMS JOKES]
- Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said "April fool". I have pass. [SMS JOKES]
- Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: For you and your parents. [SMS JOKES]
- Drop the Baby Why did you drop the baby? Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did. [SMS JOKES]
- A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? B'coz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever you go out network follows. [SMS JOKES]
- Banta ke ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha? Kyon? Itne saalo baad, itni manato ke baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...! [SMS JOKES]
- GREAT TUSI bade hi gr8 ho, RASGULLE ki pl8 ho, PEPSI ka cr8 ho, ANDE ka oml8 ho, SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho, JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho, KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…! [SMS JOKES]
- What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH! [SMS JOKES]
- HUMANS fall in love, that's normal...........COWS eat grass, that's ok........BUT when........MONKEYS can press mobile keypads! INCREDIBLE!.....STILL PRESSIN! UNBELIEVABLE! [SMS JOKES]
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[1] |
e kaash kahin aisa hota ki do dil hote seene main
ek toot bhi jaata ishq mein to taklif na hoti jeene mein.
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[2] |
A Friendship is Sweet when it's NEW,
It's Sweeter when its TRUE,
But Its Sweetest when the friend is like YOU.
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[3] |
Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
Gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
Tum kar do ek SMS yeh gujarish hai meri,
Tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.
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[4] |
A prayer: 2 bless your way
A wish: 2 lighten your moments
A cheer: 2 perfect your day
A text: 2 say HAPPY BIRTH DAY
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[5] |
Life is like Math.
Friend's ko plus karo, Dushman ko minus karo,
Khushioon ko multiply karo, Gham ko divide karo,
aur hum ko yaad karo.....
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[6] |
Measured by miles you are far away,
Measured by thoughts you are close to me,
Measured by closed eye you are with me,
But measured by heart you are always in me.
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[7] |
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
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[8] |
Kya khushnuma hava chal rahi hai,
Koyal gaana ga rahe hain,,,,,,,,,
gaaye ghaaas kha rahe hain,,,,,,,
hamlog SMS kar rahe hain,,,,,,,,,
aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahe hain.
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[9] |
Dil mein tumhari tasveer,
Aankhon mein aasoono ke mele hai.
Tumhe kya battain
Tum bin kitne akele hain.
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[10] |
Sanam teri duniya chod denge,
Teri taraf aye tufan ko mod denge,
Lekin tune jo sath choda,
Kasam teri haddiyan tod denge.
Sandeep Sangwan
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PAGE: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Total 'SMS Jokes' available now: 70 |
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[1] |
Customer: What makes the car jerk so when I first put it into gear?
Used-car Salesman: Eagerness to get away, sir - nothing more.
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[2] |
PAL - Planes Always Late
JAL - Jerk And Land
UL - Usually Late
SQ - Stand in Queqe
PIA - Please Inform Allah
AI - Already Informed
Amudha Sendhilnaathan :: From Bangkok
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[3] |
How do they estimate the population of a Swiss village?
They count the echoes and divide them by the numbers of mountains.
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[4] |
A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair.
"Don't be angry," the mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts."
A short while later, there's more crying, and the mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling and her brother says, "Now she knows.
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[5] |
Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors the guard said, "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?" So to the back fence they all went.
First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Without so much as moving, the New York contractor said, "$2,700."
The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy," he said. "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Texas."
Bijesh Pillai
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[6] |
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something...but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.
A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck....
Bijesh Pillai
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[7] |
Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: The moon.
Teacher: Why?
Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.
Piyush Bhatnagar
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[8] |
An in-depth study has shown that the bird flu virus hits the best chicks first.
I thought I'd warn you immediately...
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[9] |
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black.
Customer: What other colours do you have?
Piyush Bhatnagar
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[10] |
Pupil: Did you know that the most intelligent person is going deaf?
Teacher: Really. Who is it?
Pupil: Pardon.
Piyush Bhatnagar
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PAGE: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Total 'Kids Jokes' available now: 115 |
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[1] |
First Man: Why are you staring at the can like this?
Second Man: It is written this Orange Juice can - 'Concentrate'.
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[2] |
Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman." She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
"Well," he snarled at the blonde, "what do you want?"
"I just wanted to know why you can't ring it for yourself.
Bijesh Pillai
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[3] |
A doctor was having an affair with his Italian-born nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know when the baby is born?" she asked.
He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back.
I'll take care of all the child's expenses."
Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home, and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked her what she thought might have caused the cardiac arrest. The wife picked up the card and read it to him: "Four Spaghettis: Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.
Bijesh Pillai
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[4] |
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband.
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[5] |
NASA was interviewing professionals they were figuring on sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth.
The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going.
"One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my Alma mater-Rice University."
The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question.
"Two millions dollars," the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."
"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.
The lawyer replied, "You give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer.
Bijesh Pillai
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[6] |
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast", so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
What's your 'Unique Breakfast'?" he asked inquisitively.
"Baked tongue of chicken," she replied proudly.
"Baked tongue of chicken? Do you have ANY idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" the man fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "Well, what would you like then, sir?"
The man replied, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs.
Bijesh Pillai
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[7] |
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent...stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing.
Bijesh Pillai
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[8] |
It was the final exam for an English course at a university. Like most freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Thirty minutes into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the students filed up and handed their exams in. All except the late student, who continued writing. Half an hour later, he finally came up to the professor's desk and attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets.
"No you don't, I am not going to accept that, It's late!" The student looked incredulous and angry.
"Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't," replied the professor sarcastically.
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.
"No, and I don't care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good!" replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
Bijesh Pillai
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[9] |
Little Jimmy was lying on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God. "God? Are you really there?" Jimmy said out loud. To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds.
"Yes, Jimmy? What can I do for you?"
Seizing the opportunity, Jimmy asked, "God? What is a million years like to you?"
Knowing that Jimmy could not understand the concept of infinity, God responded in a manner to which Jimmy could relate, "A million years to me, Jimmy, is like a minute."
"Oh," said Jimmy. "Well, then, what's a million dollars like to you?"
"A million dollars to me, Jimmy, is like a penny."
"Wow!" remarked Jimmy, getting an idea. "You're so generous, can I have one of your pennies?"
God replied, "Sure thing, Jimmy! Just a minute.
Bijesh Pillai
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[10] |
On a romantic date Santa's girlfriend asked him..
On our engagement will You give me a Ring?
Santa replied: Sure dear, whats your cell number?
Sandeep :: s_s_sangwan@hotmail.com
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[1] |
March Past
Bijesh Pillai
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[2] |
Amarjeet Malik
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[3] |
Bijesh Pillai
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[4] |
Please! Let the Doctor go.
Amarjeet Malik
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[5] |
- :: -
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[6] |
Bijesh Pillai
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[7] |
Bijesh Pillai
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[8] |
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[9] |
Shailender Kumar
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[10] |
Shailender Kumar
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[1]
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Ajit: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai.
Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...
phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega!
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[2]
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"Aaj Mother teresa aa rahen hai Kamani Auditorium mein saam ko aap chalenge na,
hum aap ko 5.30 p.m sharp pe lene aienge,
but this fellow didn't know who is Mother Teresa and replied back,
"nahin bhai aap hi chale jaiye hum English film nahin dekhte hain."
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[3]
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A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets, Do ticket dena,
The person at the window tells him that there is a house full,
so this Bihari says koi baat nahin do house full de do.
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[4]
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Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi.
he he he...
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[5]
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ROBERT: America mein WAAR ho gaya boss!!!
AJIT: Us mein kyaa rakhaa hai Bloody Fool!!! India mein roz "WAAR" hota hai.
Bolo kaise???
ROBERT: nahin maaloom Boss!!!
AJIT: Arre ulloo!!! SOMWAAR, MANGALWAAR, BUDHWAAR...
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[6]
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Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Man: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
Sandeep
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[7]
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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to an Indian: Any great man born in this village???
He replies: no sir, only small Babies!!!
Mitrajit Pandey :: mitrajit_pandey@yahoo.co.in
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[8]
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Police: Yesterday night the thiefs stole the car, fridge, jewellery's, money,... but why not tv?
Santa Singh: How could they take the tv when I was watching it.
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[9]
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Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?
Sandeep Sangwan
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[10]
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Once a day santa climb-up in building, which have 200 stories.
One of Santa's friend called him Banta your son has dead.
When he heard this he came soon early, but when he came down on 100 story then he remember, aree I have no son, and when he came on 50 story he remember, aee I m not married.
And when he came down on last story, then he remember his name is santa not a Banta.
Guddu :: guddu_sam_777@yahoo.co.in
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PAGE: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Total 'Indian Jokes' available now: 115 |
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• Thanksgiving Day Coloringbook
• Thanksgiving Day Festival
• Thanksgiving Day Greetings
• Short Poems for children
• Thanksgiving Sayings
• When is Thanksgiving Day
• Activities, History, Quiz
• First Thanksgiving
• Thanksgiving Feast, Art & Craft Ideas, Gift Ideas
• Blessings
• Calendar, Continental Congress National Thanksgiving Proclamations, Thanksgiving Turkey Presidential Pardon
• 1777 Thanksgiving Proclamation, 1778 Thanksgiving Proclamation, Prayers, Catholic Thanksgiving Prayer, Family Thanksgiving Prayer
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