- Santa - Main tumse Shaadi nahi kar sakta. GF - Kyon! Santa - Mere ghar wale mana kar rahe hain. GF - Kaun hai! Santa - Meri bibi aur baache. [SMS JOKES]
- Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said "April fool". I have pass. [SMS JOKES]
- Santa & Lion How can a Santa kill a Lion? Santa thinks & thinks hard... & comes to a conclusion: "I'll drink Poison.. & let the Lion eat me." [SMS JOKES]
- Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: For you and your parents. [SMS JOKES]
- Drop the Baby Why did you drop the baby? Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did. [SMS JOKES]
- Machchar ne aapko kata wo uska JUNUN tha, aapne khujli ki wo aapka SUKUN tha, chahkar bhi aapne use nahi mara bcoz uski ragon mein bhi aapka hi KHOON tha. [SMS JOKES]
- Banta ke ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha? Kyon? Itne saalo baad, itni manato ke baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...! [SMS JOKES]
- A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? B'coz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever you go out network follows. [SMS JOKES]
- Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den... He is supposed to count upto 100... and then start searching... Everyone starts hiding except Newton... Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting 1,2,3...... 97, 98, 99..... 100... ..... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front... Einstein says "newton's out..newton's out..." Newton denies and says "I am not out.. I am not Newton..." All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton. Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared.... since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......! [KIDS JOKES]
- GREAT TUSI bade hi gr8 ho, RASGULLE ki pl8 ho, PEPSI ka cr8 ho, ANDE ka oml8 ho, SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho, JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho, KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…! [SMS JOKES]
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- Santa - Main tumse Shaadi nahi kar sakta. GF - Kyon! Santa - Mere ghar wale mana kar rahe hain. GF - Kaun hai! Santa - Meri bibi aur baache. [SMS JOKES]
- Santa & Lion How can a Santa kill a Lion? Santa thinks & thinks hard... & comes to a conclusion: "I'll drink Poison.. & let the Lion eat me." [SMS JOKES]
- Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said "April fool". I have pass. [SMS JOKES]
- Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: For you and your parents. [SMS JOKES]
- Drop the Baby Why did you drop the baby? Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did. [SMS JOKES]
- A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? B'coz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever you go out network follows. [SMS JOKES]
- Banta ke ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha? Kyon? Itne saalo baad, itni manato ke baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...! [SMS JOKES]
- GREAT TUSI bade hi gr8 ho, RASGULLE ki pl8 ho, PEPSI ka cr8 ho, ANDE ka oml8 ho, SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho, JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho, KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…! [SMS JOKES]
- What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH! [SMS JOKES]
- HUMANS fall in love, that's normal...........COWS eat grass, that's ok........BUT when........MONKEYS can press mobile keypads! INCREDIBLE!.....STILL PRESSIN! UNBELIEVABLE! [SMS JOKES]
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[1] |
Tum rooh mein shamil ho, Ragon mein rawa ho
Magar mere hathon ki lakeeron mein kahan ho?
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[2] |
Aksar jab hum aapko yaad karte hain,
Apne rab se yehi fariyad karte hain,
Umar hamari bhi lag jaye aapko,
Kyonki hum doston ko khud se zyada pyar karte hain.
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[3] |
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
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[4] |
Meri yaad aye to yaad karo, Zyada aye to sms karo
Ussey zyada aye to phone karo, Ussey bhi zyada aye to millo
Ager ussey bhi zyada aaye to, Please jhoot bolna band karo.
Sandeep Sangwan
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[5] |
Great people talk about ideas,
Average people talk about things,
Small people talk about other people, And
Legends never talk, they send SMS...
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[6] |
Baithe baithe kamre main kar rahi thi press
Teri yaad aayi to jal gayi dress..........!
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[7] |
TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!
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[8] |
Dil main basa hain pyaar tera,
Aankhoon main basee hain tasweer teri,
Jab bhi aatee hain yaad teri,
Main dekhta hoon.
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[9] |
A Friendship is Sweet when it's NEW,
It's Sweeter when its TRUE,
But Its Sweetest when the friend is like YOU.
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[10] |
Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
Gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
Tum kar do ek SMS yeh gujarish hai meri,
Tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.
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PAGE: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Total 'SMS Jokes' available now: 70 |
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[1] |
PAL - Planes Always Late
JAL - Jerk And Land
UL - Usually Late
SQ - Stand in Queqe
PIA - Please Inform Allah
AI - Already Informed
Amudha Sendhilnaathan :: From Bangkok
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[2] |
One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to run some errands.
The proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of doing, but the baby wouldn't stop crying.
Finally, the dad got so worried that he decided to take the infant to the doctor.
After the doctor listened to the father relate all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area.
When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full."Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs to be changed!"The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!"
Amit Pahuja
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[3] |
Once there was an madman who was committed to an asylum.
The asylum had a rule that if any 'resident' could pass a special 5-question test, he could go free. No resident had passed in the 20-year history of the asylum.
It was the madman's turn to take the test.
After a grueling 4 hours of testing, the examining officer said, "Well, you've passed four of the five tests. I'm very impressed. However, the last test is the hardest of all."
The examiner lead the man to a dark room, switched on a flashlight, and pointed it at a light bulb hanging from the ceiling. "For your fifth test, you must walk on the beam of light and change the bulb."
The man looked at him with an outraged expression and exclaimed, Are you NUTS?!?"
He continued, "Yeah right, when I reach half-way you'll turn it off and let me fall!"
Bijesh Pillai
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[4] |
One time I farted so bad that I had to spend ten years in jail for air pollution.
Bijesh Pillai
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[5] |
Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors the guard said, "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?" So to the back fence they all went.
First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Without so much as moving, the New York contractor said, "$2,700."
The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy," he said. "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Texas."
Bijesh Pillai
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[6] |
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something...but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.
A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck....
Bijesh Pillai
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[7] |
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black.
Customer: What other colours do you have?
Piyush Bhatnagar
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[8] |
Pupil: Did you know that the most intelligent person is going deaf?
Teacher: Really. Who is it?
Pupil: Pardon.
Piyush Bhatnagar
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[9] |
Tom: How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.
Piyush Bhatnagar
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[10] |
Patient: What are the chances of my recovering doctor?
Doctor: One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died.
Piyush Bhatnagar
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PAGE: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Total 'Kids Jokes' available now: 115 |
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[1] |
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent...stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing.
Bijesh Pillai
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[2] |
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast", so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
What's your 'Unique Breakfast'?" he asked inquisitively.
"Baked tongue of chicken," she replied proudly.
"Baked tongue of chicken? Do you have ANY idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" the man fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "Well, what would you like then, sir?"
The man replied, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs.
Bijesh Pillai
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[3] |
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband.
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[4] |
A doctor was having an affair with his Italian-born nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know when the baby is born?" she asked.
He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back.
I'll take care of all the child's expenses."
Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home, and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked her what she thought might have caused the cardiac arrest. The wife picked up the card and read it to him: "Four Spaghettis: Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.
Bijesh Pillai
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[5] |
NASA was interviewing professionals they were figuring on sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth.
The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going.
"One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my Alma mater-Rice University."
The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question.
"Two millions dollars," the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."
"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.
The lawyer replied, "You give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer.
Bijesh Pillai
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[6] |
It was the final exam for an English course at a university. Like most freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Thirty minutes into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the students filed up and handed their exams in. All except the late student, who continued writing. Half an hour later, he finally came up to the professor's desk and attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets.
"No you don't, I am not going to accept that, It's late!" The student looked incredulous and angry.
"Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't," replied the professor sarcastically.
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.
"No, and I don't care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good!" replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
Bijesh Pillai
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[7] |
On a romantic date Santa's girlfriend asked him..
On our engagement will You give me a Ring?
Santa replied: Sure dear, whats your cell number?
Sandeep :: s_s_sangwan@hotmail.com
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[8] |
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Bijesh Pillai
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[9] |
Paani mein Whiskey milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
Sandeep Sangwan :: s_s_sangwan@yahoo.com
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[10] |
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
Sandeep :: s_s_sangwan@hotmail.com
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[1] |
Al Pacino - Godfather Caught
Bijesh Pillai
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[2] |
- :: -
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[3] |
Bijesh Pillai
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[4] |
Bijesh Pillai
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[5] |
Shailender Kumar
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[6] |
Shailender Kumar
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[7] |
Amarjeet Malik
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[8] |
Emergency
Amarjeet Malik
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[9] |
Easy to find
Amarjeet Malik
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[10] |
Easy Movers
Amarjeet Malik
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[1]
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Ajit: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai.
Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...
phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega!
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[2]
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"Aaj Mother teresa aa rahen hai Kamani Auditorium mein saam ko aap chalenge na,
hum aap ko 5.30 p.m sharp pe lene aienge,
but this fellow didn't know who is Mother Teresa and replied back,
"nahin bhai aap hi chale jaiye hum English film nahin dekhte hain."
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[3]
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A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets, Do ticket dena,
The person at the window tells him that there is a house full,
so this Bihari says koi baat nahin do house full de do.
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[4]
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Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi.
he he he...
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[5]
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ROBERT: America mein WAAR ho gaya boss!!!
AJIT: Us mein kyaa rakhaa hai Bloody Fool!!! India mein roz "WAAR" hota hai.
Bolo kaise???
ROBERT: nahin maaloom Boss!!!
AJIT: Arre ulloo!!! SOMWAAR, MANGALWAAR, BUDHWAAR...
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[6]
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Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Man: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
Sandeep
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[7]
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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to an Indian: Any great man born in this village???
He replies: no sir, only small Babies!!!
Mitrajit Pandey :: mitrajit_pandey@yahoo.co.in
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[8]
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Police: Yesterday night the thiefs stole the car, fridge, jewellery's, money,... but why not tv?
Santa Singh: How could they take the tv when I was watching it.
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[9]
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Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?
Sandeep Sangwan
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[10]
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Once a day santa climb-up in building, which have 200 stories.
One of Santa's friend called him Banta your son has dead.
When he heard this he came soon early, but when he came down on 100 story then he remember, aree I have no son, and when he came on 50 story he remember, aee I m not married.
And when he came down on last story, then he remember his name is santa not a Banta.
Guddu :: guddu_sam_777@yahoo.co.in
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PAGE: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Total 'Indian Jokes' available now: 115 |
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• Thanksgiving Day Coloringbook
• Thanksgiving Day Festival
• Thanksgiving Day Greetings
• Short Poems for children
• Thanksgiving Sayings
• When is Thanksgiving Day
• Activities, History, Quiz
• First Thanksgiving
• Thanksgiving Feast, Art & Craft Ideas, Gift Ideas
• Blessings
• Calendar, Continental Congress National Thanksgiving Proclamations, Thanksgiving Turkey Presidential Pardon
• 1777 Thanksgiving Proclamation, 1778 Thanksgiving Proclamation, Prayers, Catholic Thanksgiving Prayer, Family Thanksgiving Prayer
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